Moving your parents can be difficult—here’s some help
Whether you are part of the sandwich generation— with kids at home and aging parents to care for—or faced with just the latter, figuring out if and when to move your folks into a senior living community is no easy task. Having recently ventured into this world, I’m sharing what I’ve learned.
The first choice is always to keep parents at their home, if it’s working. However, life gets more difficult as you get older. Driving day or night can be challenging. Buying and preparing food, navigating stairs, and having a supportive community of family and friends nearby all play into the equation.
ASSISTED LIVING LOCATORS co-owner Laura Barrett.
After searching the internet for hours and looking to friends for recommendations, I was overwhelmed with the options and the lists of amenities, not understanding half the descriptors online. Then, I came across a listing for Assisted Living Locators L.A. (assistedlivinglocatorsla.com), which seemed to do everything I needed. I called them and the journey began.
If your parents need to move, you don’t have to find a place for them alone. There are people out there who specialize in locating an ideal living situation for seniors—taking into consideration your parents’ physical capabilities, what part of town they’d be most comfortable in, their mental capacity, and budget. And it’s at no cost to you! Advisors get paid by the senior community.
Laura Barrett, who recently became the new co-owner of Assisted Living Locators L.A. but has worked for the organization for years, walked me through all the different options. With her questions about my parents’ health, budget, insurance, and mobility we narrowed the list to about five potential best-fits. Her years of experience and the multiple areas of certification, including dementia care and senior advising, were invaluable. “These are all things that make me better at my job and help my clients,” Barrett commented.
“My clients sometimes go kicking and screaming only to contact me later to tell me they wished they had done this years ago,” said Barrett. This comment was mirrored by everyone else I spoke to who worked with seniors.
Wanting to vet any place I would consider, Barrett and I toured the facilities together. She always asked questions that I would never have considered. She was an invaluable asset.
Working with Barrett, I learned that one of the reasons apartments tend to be smaller in senior or assisted living communities is because the facilities want residents to engage in the community and not be in their apartments by themselves. As I heard on numerous tours, the lobbies and communal spaces should be considered the resident’s living room.
After having my folks tour a few communities, one spoke to them.
Making the move
Now, the move. How were we going to take 30 years’ worth of stuff from a 2,500- square-foot house and put it into a small apartment? Barrett to the rescue again. A certified senior advisor will have ideas and strategies to best work with parents who might be resistant or dealing with limited mental capacity.
There are senior downsizing companies who specialize in this. Who knew?! They can pack, move, unpack, sell, and donate all the furnishings in a home. You decide what you want. These companies also help with clearing out homes in your darkest hours, when loved ones have passed.
Barrett of course had a few downsizers up her sleeve. I spoke with Dina Braverman of Organizing Concepts and Designs (organizingconceptsanddesigns.com). She’s been doing this for close to 20 years, she was a paralegal and legal assistant for 30 years before that. Like Barrett, she is chock-full of experience and resources that are incredibly helpful and necessary during this process. “A lot of seniors won’t move because it’s too daunting,” said Braverman. That’s where she and her team come in.
The downsizing company assesses and measures the furniture the seniors are living with, and they visit and take measurements at their future home. They then advise and make suggestions for the best configuration in the new space, taking into consideration space for a possible walker in the future and general ease of operation for seniors within their space. Moving day comes and they pack it all, move it, and then unpack it all, down to placing framed pictures on the table.
And hopefully that is the start of a new, safer, and more social era for your folks.
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