A look back at Father’s Day

I spent this past Father’s Day the same way I spent last year’s—at Dodger Stadium. There are worse ways to spend the annual day in which we honor Dads.

Being a Dad and celebrating that day is a little different now than it was when they were kids. Back then, it was the one day that you might not be on pancake duty – although that was actually a pretty fun job – or that you could play a 4+ hour round of golf and hit the 19th hole with your buddies afterward, guilt-free. Now, the kids are in college. Communication is less face-to-face talks and more FaceTime calls – but that’s just so they can see the dogs – and texts. And when they are “home,” they aren’t necessarily at your home, they are just in town. Spending most of their time with their friends and when appropriate, exploring the social benefits of being 21+.

But all of this thinking about Father’s Day, and the fact that I’ve now celebrated 21 of them on the business side of the holiday, got me to thinking about the past, when I was a kid.

For some reason I have several memories of Mother’s Day from my youth. My Mom was, well, everything! She did it all, worked every day, even on days when she had intense dental work. Came home and cooked dinner. Made sure I’d done my homework. Mother’s Day was a really BIG deal in my house. The concept of breakfast in bed for her was probably less a gift and more a cause of stress. She knew back then my breakfast making ability was pretty slim, and that she’d have to clean up the mess!

But at minimum, Mother’s Day meant that for at least a day, I wouldn’t be a pain in the neck. I’d make my bed. Put my things away. Cobble together the few bucks I had to get her something nice for the event and pick out the best card I could find, augmented by my own note inside it. Lots of Mother’s Day memories. But, what about Father’s Day?

And then it occurred to me, I lost mine when I was a kid. Obviously, that’s not the sort of thing you forget. But you might forget some of the consequences of that, one of those being that for most of your youth Father’s Day was just a day that your Mom was sad, reminiscing about and missing her husband. I eventually had a stepdad, and he was wonderful, but I was a checked out teenager. If you want to have a challenging time being a stepdad, try accepting the job when the kid is a teenager

Looking back at Father’s Day memories, it’s really mostly a back hole until the time I became one. But there are some great memories.

It seemed like somehow the various travel baseball leagues would mercifully take Father’s Day off, absolving me of coaching duties. But a day off from baseball meant we could play golf instead; I remember a fun day at the course with my stepdad Bill and son Hunter when he was about six, still have videos of us marveling at his prodigious swing.

One Father’s Day weekend the whole family went to San Francisco and caught the US Open in person at the Olympic Club—that was an amazing experience!

The best Father’s Day golf memory though happened oddly enough during the pandemic. Celebrating a great academic school year, I promised Hunter a trip to Pebble Beach, and the only time we could fit in the calendar was Father’s Day weekend. We actually flew up on Sunday, stayed at the Lodge, watched Jon Rahm win the US Open and caught the NBA playoffs while we dined on steaks, this was a most definitely dudes day! The next day we teed it up at Pebble, an unforgettable experience, followed by Spyglass the day after.

The best memories though were the simple ones, grilling a Father’s Day dinner while Paris and Scarlett joined Hunter in the pool, when time seemed to stand still. I don’t miss those days, because the current days are pretty great too, but I cherish the memories.

And in a way I think that’s what Father’s Day is about, the past, present and even future. Sure, it’s an excuse for us Dads to get on the golf course and skip chores for a day. But it’s also a time to remember our Dads and what they did for us. To appreciate the fact that we get to perform that role. And even to ponder what the future looks like, and the prospect of our kids becoming Dads, or being married to one.

Wherever you fit in the Father’s Day chain, I hope you had a great one.

Category: News