Empty nesters take time to reconnect, travel and even read
It’s back-to-school season, when many parents need to help their children transition from summer fun to the rigors of education. But for those whose children are heading to college, it’s a time of trepidation and change. How are parents handling their empty nests?
Discovering new interests
“I was sad for maybe ten days,” remembered Kate Corsmeier, whose daughter Ondine is entering her junior year at Colgate University in Hamilton, New York. “Then it began to sink in. My time is my own.”
The Ridgewood resident is refreshing her college French and took up gardening. “I needed something to nurture!” Corsmeier admitted. “I joined two book clubs. I don’t think I had read a book in 18 years!”
ENJOYING TIME TOGETHER, Chris and Kate Corsmeier bookend daughter Ondine.
At first Ondine Corsmeier worried about her parents being alone and sent them to pottery classes and rooftop movie screenings. She needn’t have worried. The Corsmeiers have discovered pickle ball, playing every Friday with new friends who are also empty nesters. Kate Corsmeier noted their new spontaneity. “We went away for a weekend to Los Alamos on a whim.”
Husband Chris Corsmeier is more nostalgic. He wants to leave their daughter’s bedroom the way it was, whereas Kate stashes things in her daughter’s closet and uses her desk.
“There’s this part of your life that’s suddenly gone,” Chris Corsmeier explains. “Driving them somewhere, helping with school projects. I have to get used to the dynamic that Ondine is an adult, not a child. She’s going to make her own decisions.”
Excited to reconnect
Windsor Square residents Olivia and Steve Kazanjian have two daughters. Stella, a junior at nearby Scripps College in Claremont, California, can come home during weekends but will soon spend a semester in Copenhagen, Denmark. Grace (who goes by Gigi) is starting New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts, so the Kazanjians will have a completely empty nest. They are embracing the change. In fact, Olivia engaged her older daughter in converting her bedroom into a guest and exercise room before leaving for college so she wouldn’t be shocked by the transformation. “Tears were shed while going through her stuff from the Plymouth School and St. James,” Olivia Kazanjian admitted. “Those were the best times of our lives.”
“When you’re a parent you have a responsibility to the kids to create an environment for them to be successful people, with kind characters,” said Steve Kazanjian. “We had dinner together nearly every night. Now Olivia and I can say, ‘What do you want to do tonight?’”
THE KAZANJIANS: (from left) daughter Grace, Steve, Olivia and daughter Stella.
Olivia Kazanjian stated, “I’m looking forward to just being together [with Steve] for the first time in 18 years.”
Steve Kazanjian concurs. “She and I love each other more now than we ever have before. I’m so excited to reconnect with each other as people who are not 25 anymore.”
Embracing spontaneity
Sarah Shun-lien Bynum and husband Leigh Dana Jackson have been empty nesters for two years. Their daughter Willa Jackson is a junior at Yale University. They have adjusted to their new status after a rocky start.
“We were in denial,” explains Bynum. Jackson agrees, “For the first year we walked around shell-shocked. By her sophomore year, we started to get in the groove.”
Before their daughter moved out, the Windsor Square family habitually had dinners together. “That immediately evaporated,” admits Jackson. “We text, ‘Want to just do sushi tonight?’ When Willa came home, she looked in the empty refrigerator and asked, ‘Do you guys eat anymore?’”
“We’re more spontaneous,” says Jackson. “I said, ‘Hey do you want to go to Japan in a couple of weeks?’ It was our first solo trip since before we were parents!”
SARAH SHUN-LIEN BYNUM and Leigh Dana Jackson with daughter Willa Jackson.
The couple enjoy their time together, but in one aspect they haven’t moved on: Their daughter’s room has not been touched. Jackson laughs, “Her room is preserved in amber, like a mosquito in ‘Jurassic Park’.”
Jackson notes one unanticipated effect of their daughter starting college. “For 18 years I walked through Larchmont and knew every kid. Now when I go to the Sunday farmers’ market, I see families with strollers and bikes. They know all the kids, not us.”
Category: People
