Amy Forbes and Andy Murr have proven to be a sure bet for love

THE COUPLE in Umbria, Italy, in October 2024.

MURR AND FORBES at their wedding in 1990.
Amy Forbes’ mother often said, “Weddings — such a good place to meet people!” It turns out she knew what she was talking about. Forbes and her husband, Andy Murr, met at the wedding of a friend. “It’s always so annoying when mothers end up being right,” said Murr.
The fateful wedding was held in Irvington, New York. Forbes had grown up knowing the family of the groom, and Andy was good friends with Hank, the groom’s brother. During an extended cocktail hour before the reception dinner, Hank introduced Forbes and Murr.
As it happened, quite some time prior to the wedding, Hank and Forbes had made a $50 bet: Forbes betting the friend would get married and Hank betting against that. During the cocktail hour, Forbes asked Hank to pay up. All the betting talk led to a fresh wager between the two new acquaintances, Forbes and Murr. Regarding Hank’s marital prospects, Forbes and Murr put five dollars on the line. Forbes bet that Hank would be married within two years. Murr bet he wouldn’t. Forbes lost that bet, but, the couple told us, “It was the first of many $5 bets we’ve made.”
After the two returned home — Forbes to Los Angeles and Murr to Atlanta — their correspondence began, “On paper … with stamps! Archaic stuff,” said Murr. “Amy had decided Hank should be the ‘escrow’ for our $5 bet.” She sent Murr a copy of the letter she’d sent to Hank regarding the idea, and that was the couple’s first letter.
The two wrote to each other consistently, and they eventually decided to meet up in New Orleans for their first date. It was a success! But because Forbes, a real estate lawyer, had won a yearlong fellowship in Bangkok, the couple’s relationship was kept to paper interactions during that time, though Murr, a correspondent for Newsweek magazine, did get to visit once.
Transfer west
After Forbes returned to Los Angeles, Murr put in for a transfer. “He arrived in December of 1989 and, by March of 1990, we were engaged,” said Forbes. When asked how Murr popped the question, he said, “Amy was deep into a bed-and-breakfast phase … so she picked a place in Napa. We got there and it was way too cutesy.” There were Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls in the room.
Though that decor did cure Forbes of her bed-and-breakfast phase, being in the room didn’t stop Murr from receiving a “Yes!” when he asked Forbes to marry him. “In the ridiculous room, he asked if I wanted to marry him and presented me with pearls,” said Forbes. Murr knew she felt a ring would mark her as a husband’s chattel, so Murr chose instead to present her with what have come to be known as “the betrothal pearls.”
Windsor Square
The couple has now been together for 34 years. Residents of Windsor Square, they have three grown children, all of whom live within 15 minutes of them. When asked how they kept their relationship strong while both working full-time and raising three kids, Forbes said, “I don’t know! We had a really wonderful housekeeper who lived nearby and was with us for nearly 20 years, and we lived close to my family. You just have to accept that sometimes your life is going to be out of control.”
Now that they are empty nesters, the couple likes to go to restaurants, museums and movies with foreign subtitles. They like to explore old historic parts of town, do hikes and stair tours, spend time with their dog, volunteer and travel together. Last year, they went to Guatemala, Vietnam and Italy. Next up is Argentina. Both also serve on boards — Murr on a charter school board for Brightstar Schools and Forbes on the board of the Center Theatre Group (where she is also president) and on the board of The Music Center. Forbes still works part-time in real estate law. “We care about the city and are good civic actors,” said Forbes of herself and Murr. “Where much is given, much is expected.”
At the fateful wedding where they met, Murr says he was attracted to Forbes because she was very lively, pretty and smart. Forbes took a liking to Murr because he was funny, smart and was wearing a bowtie (which he still has). After more than three decades together, they still see the original attractions, but they also have grown to appreciate additional attributes.
Forbes describes Murr as kind, supportive, stable, smart and very funny. Murr sees Forbes as smart, intense and committed. “Part of her commitment is helping an amazing number of people with pretty complicated stuff. She goes way out of her way — not just with organizations, but with individuals who come to her with problems. She’s got an amazing amount of energy and, once she decides to do something, it’s going to happen,” said Murr.
The couple says all the chapters of their life together have been good. “The best way not to get divorced is to stay married. You power through,” said Forbes. Though there is truth to her somewhat humorous advice, in the case of Forbes and Murr, their “powering through” has clearly been accompanied by a deep appreciation, respect and love for each other.
Category: People